"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything."
"I enjoy mythology, but am not religious about it"
"Your faith is not inspired by some divine constant truth. It is simply geography"
"The doubt of your faith is not god testing you, it is the truth trying to emerge and free you."
"Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings."
"Scientology. Because Mormons needed something to joke about."
"Jesus hates figs" (Mark 11:12-14)
"Staying in bed shouting 'Oh my God!' does not constitute going to church."
"Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers."
"If there there is a God, atheism must seem to Him as less of an insult than religion."
"I considered becoming an atheist, but there weren't enough holidays."
"My creation myth is better than your creation myth."
"Religion is a great comfort in a world torn apart by ... religion."
"Call my religion violent again and I'll kill you."
"The more I study religions the more I'm convinced that man worships only himself."
"Creationism doesn't required a leap of faith so much as a drunken tumble down Mount Dumbass."
"Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings."
"I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world."
"What can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence."
"Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool. - Mark Twain
"If you talk to God, you are praying. If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia."

The Real Truth

The real truth cartoon
I'm so happy to know that out of all the different religions I was raised in the only one that holds the real truth | Funny religious cartoon

So you're wandering around, minding your own business, when a woolly-haired man leaps from the bushes with a dusty book in his hand, muttering something about God.  Since you have an open mind, and it's a beautiful day, you listen to his ramblings, and you find out that this "God", who defies real definition (but you can call him Dad) exists apart from the universe He created. He is everywhere, knows everything, is eternal, invisible, immortal, very wise and can do magic.

"Interesting," you say, "and how exactly do we know this, if he is invisible?"

"Aha," shouts the man.  "Because He revealed himself to mankind!"

"To mankind? So not you personally?"

"No."

"But someone you know?"

"Um... no."

"So how do you know for sure this happened?"

"Because this book says so," screams the woolly-haired man and runs off.