Because religion is laughable

Christian Denominations

Funny Emo Philips Christian Baptist Denominations Joke Photo Caption - Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?" He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over. - Emo Philips

I love this Emo Philips joke so very much.  I think it is particularly funny, because like many good jokes, it hits a nerve: the fact that even where the Truth is concerned, we humans are a divisive lot.  We love to gather around in like-minded ignorance and hate anything that is different.

So what did God do?  He planted the seed of an alleged Truth in the minds of a bunch of ignorant goatherders, told them they him they were chosen, and relied upon a process of Chinese whispers to communicate this to us.

The Bible is the inerrant Word of God, they all say, but since there is no divinely inspired copy/translation process and the thousands of manuscript fragments contain a fair number of discrepancies, the phrase becomes "inerrant in the autographs (originals)".  Except we don't have those.  The inerrancy of "God's word" is an assumption.

And we've not even started on the correct process of Biblical interpretation, or hermeneutics, if you want to give it an air of respectability.

The short of it is that we have ended up with hundreds of Christian denominations, all sincerely seeking the truth in Scripture and yet all coming to quite different conclusions on important matters such as whether the Holy Communion should be in one cup or many.

"Oh, but we agree on the fundamentals!"

Think again.  If you weren't baptised as an adult via full water immersion, say the Churches of Christ, then you are not saved. And if you're Catholic, there is no point even pitching up at the Judgement Seat.

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