"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything."
"I enjoy mythology, but am not religious about it"
"Your faith is not inspired by some divine constant truth. It is simply geography"
"The doubt of your faith is not god testing you, it is the truth trying to emerge and free you."
"Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings."
"Scientology. Because Mormons needed something to joke about."
"Jesus hates figs" (Mark 11:12-14)
"Staying in bed shouting 'Oh my God!' does not constitute going to church."
"Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers."
"If there there is a God, atheism must seem to Him as less of an insult than religion."
"I considered becoming an atheist, but there weren't enough holidays."
"My creation myth is better than your creation myth."
"Religion is a great comfort in a world torn apart by ... religion."
"Call my religion violent again and I'll kill you."
"The more I study religions the more I'm convinced that man worships only himself."
"Creationism doesn't required a leap of faith so much as a drunken tumble down Mount Dumbass."
"Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings."
"I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world."
"What can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence."
"Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool. - Mark Twain
"If you talk to God, you are praying. If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia."

Funny Prayer Joke Pictures

Funny Prayer Joke Picture - Little girl praying - Dear God, please send clothes to those poor ladies on Daddy's computer
 Funny Prayer Joke Pictures - Little girl praying - Dear God, please send clothes to those poor ladies on Daddy's computer
If he dies it's your fault.  If he lives, it's a miracle - Jesus speaking to a surgeon during an operation
If he dies it's your fault.  If he lives, it's a miracle - Jesus speaking to a surgeon during an operation 
Jesus meme - I don't want to sound like I'm bragging, but I'm the one who gave her that disease
Jesus meme - I don't want to sound like I'm bragging, but I'm the one who gave her that disease
Funny Prayer Joke Picture - Prayer - because magic lamps are crazy
Funny Prayer Joke Picture -  Prayer - because magic lamps are crazy



"Dear Jesus, if you give me a bike, I won't sin for one year," prayed the little boy earnestly.

He opened his eyes, and seeing his mother's statue of the Virgin Mary looking down sadly at him, was wracked with guilt and the realisation that he would never be able to avoid sin for that long.  So he prayed again, "Dear Jesus, if you give me a bike, I won't sin for six months."

Opening his eyes a second time, he looked up guiltily at the statue, keenly aware of the impossibility of what he was promising.  So with a sigh he got up, gently picked up the statue, packed it into his little rucksack, and closed his eyes for the third time.

"Dear Jesus," he prayed, "if you ever want to see your mother again, give me a bike."


Funny Prayer Joke Picture -  Thank you Jesus - for helping me find my car keys - for letting me throw that touchdown - starving child in Africa says nothing
Funny Prayer Joke Pictures - Thank you Jesus - for helping me find my car keys - for letting me throw that touchdown - starving child in Africa says nothing

Funny Prayer Joke Picture -  Prayer oldest form of wireless communication - never dropped a call - Outside coverage area
Prayer oldest form of wireless communication - never dropped a call - outside coverage area 
Prayer like chronic gambling, you never talk about your losses
 Prayer like chronic gambling, you never talk about your losses
Funny Jesus Science prayer meme picture - I hope science cures you...
 Funny Jesus Science prayer meme picture - I hope science cures you...

Prayer Bible quote - Do not worry - Look at the birds of the air;  they do not sow or reap or store away in barns,  and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
 Prayer Bible quote - Do not worry - Look at the birds of the air;  they do not sow or reap or store away in barns,  and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Funny Jesus cartoon - there are starving people all over the world.  How can I show them I care? Jesus appears on a grilled cheese sandwich news headline
Funny Jesus cartoon - there are starving people all over the world.  How can I show them I care? Jesus appears on a grilled cheese sandwich news headline 
Funny Caption Picard Star Trek Prayer Meme - Why are you praying to the same god that let this happen in the first place
Funny Caption Picard Star Trek Prayer Meme - Why are you praying to the same god that let this happen in the first place