"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything."
"I enjoy mythology, but am not religious about it"
"Your faith is not inspired by some divine constant truth. It is simply geography"
"The doubt of your faith is not god testing you, it is the truth trying to emerge and free you."
"Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings."
"Scientology. Because Mormons needed something to joke about."
"Jesus hates figs" (Mark 11:12-14)
"Staying in bed shouting 'Oh my God!' does not constitute going to church."
"Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers."
"If there there is a God, atheism must seem to Him as less of an insult than religion."
"I considered becoming an atheist, but there weren't enough holidays."
"My creation myth is better than your creation myth."
"Religion is a great comfort in a world torn apart by ... religion."
"Call my religion violent again and I'll kill you."
"The more I study religions the more I'm convinced that man worships only himself."
"Creationism doesn't required a leap of faith so much as a drunken tumble down Mount Dumbass."
"Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings."
"I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world."
"What can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence."
"Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool. - Mark Twain
"If you talk to God, you are praying. If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia."

Jesus In Your Heart

Funny Jesus Heart Cartoon Joke Picture
Funny Jesus Heart Cartoon Joke Picture - So I finally decided to accept Jesus into my heart... Ah, here's the problem.  It was an obstructed artery.  I just wanted to help.
When I signed up to Christianity, oh so many years ago, the "denomination" I was converted to was called the church of Christ, deliberately spelled with a small "c", as they believed they were THE church of God.  They would have hated me calling it a denomination, because, being a restoration, back to the Bible church, there was only one truth: the Bible truth, and all these denominations were simply mistaken.

"See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ." (Colossians 2:8)

I mention this rather uninteresting piece of personal history, because one of the church of Christ's particular bugbears was/is baptism, and not just any old baptism - it has to be adult baptism by full immersion (because that's what it says in the original Bible Greek - baptizo meaning immersion, not sprinkling)   If you aren't baptised in this way, then you are not saved.

The sad consequence of this view of the truth is that most Christians throughout time have unfortunately not been saved, which is a bit of bummer really.

It also means that my ex-brethren in Christ (who no doubt follow this site keenly in their prayers) would thoroughly disapprove of the above very unscriptural cartoon.  Which is a shame, as it's very funny.