Because religion is laughable

The Jesus Interviews - Hell

Lawd Cheesy Crust

Interviewer: Thank you for taking the time to talk to us, Lord.

Jesus: No probs.  It's good to be here in person.

Interviewer, smiling: You mean "again"?

Jesus: What do you mean?

Interviewer: I mean, you were here before, so this is "again".

Jesus, smiling: Ah, I see.  No, that was Brian.

Interviewer:

Jesus: Just pulling your leg.  Of course I mean "again".

Interviewer (chuckling): Good one, Lord... But, now to the topic of the day. What do you have to say about Hell?

Jesus: Hell?

Interviewer: Yes Lord.  Some would say that the concept of Hell is at odds with that of an all loving Creator.

Jesus: Yeah, that occurred to us too.

Interviewer: But?

Jesus: Well, see, it's like this:  As a parent, when you tell your children to do something, and they don't, what do you do?

Interviewer: I send them to the naughty corner.

Jesus: Well there you go.  It's just the same.

Interviewer: You don't think that's a bit harsh?  An eternity of torment for a finite number of sins?

Jesus: That's why you shouldn't piss off an infinite Being.  Now, where's that beer I was promised?  I'm fucking parched.



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Read further interviews with Lawd Cheesy Crust.

Atheist Quote of the Day

"Religion is like having a classroom where the students have to show up every day, but there's no teacher. There are a bunch of books around and no one is even sure which on is the text book. Some students insist on one book; others argue just as hard for another. Then suddenly, on the last day, the teacher appears and says he's been watching everybody the whole time. He praises the ones who chose the right text book and sends them off to have cookies and milk.

And then he sets everyone else on fire."
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