Because religion is laughable

The Jesus Interviews - Origins

Lawd Cheesy Crust


Interviewer:  Thank you for taking the time to talk to us.

Jesus: No probs.

Interviewer:  Today I'd like to discuss the question of origins.  In other words, who made you?

Jesus: What do you mean?

Interviewer:  I mean, everything has to come from something, so where did you come from?

Jesus: That rule only applies to stuff I made. I'm eternal, timeless, the Beginning, the End, the Preexistent One, etc.  I just am.

Interviewer:  I see.

Jesus: You do? Really?

Interviewer:  I think so.  You just are, you always existed, so you don't need to come from anything.

Jesus: Except that it's bollocks.

Interviewer:  Sorry?

Jesus: Yes, you're just messing with definitions.  You say everything has to come from something, except that to which the rule for some reason doesn't apply. Very convenient, don't you think?

Interviewer:  But you just said...

Jesus: I was just messing with you.  Uncle Zeb made me.

Interviewer: Uncle Zeb? Who's he?

Jesus: Dunno. Mum never told us.

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Read further interviews with Lawd Cheesy Crust.

Atheist Quote of the Day

"Religion is like having a classroom where the students have to show up every day, but there's no teacher. There are a bunch of books around and no one is even sure which on is the text book. Some students insist on one book; others argue just as hard for another. Then suddenly, on the last day, the teacher appears and says he's been watching everybody the whole time. He praises the ones who chose the right text book and sends them off to have cookies and milk.

And then he sets everyone else on fire."
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