Because religion is laughable

The Jesus Interviews - Prayer

Lawd Cheesy Crust

Interviewer:  Thank you for taking the time to talk to us again, Lord.

Jesus: Sure.

Interviewer:  Today I'd like to talk about prayer.  You know, for us it is such a privilege to be able to commune with You, our Maker, to cast our burdens upon You, and indeed help heal this world of its brokenness.

Jesus: That's quite a sentence.


Jesus: I mean, considering prayer is fundamentally pointless.

Interviewer:  Sorry, I don't follow.

Jesus: Well, since we know everything you ask for before you ask it, what's the point of you saying it, and even then, what could you possibly have to add to what we already know or have planned?

Interviewer:  Er, so is perhaps prayer more about the person praying than asking for things, an act demonstrating the believer's trusting and worshipful heart?

Jesus: More like an act demonstrating extreme stupidity.

Interviewer:  But you command it, Lord!

Jesus: Indeed, but now that we're actually talking, face to face, I need to confess that it was not one of our finest ideas.  See, Beelzy had just brewed up a batch, and, well, it needed to be drunk before it went off... so we were quite hungover at the time.



Read further interviews with Lawd Cheesy Crust.

Atheist Quote of the Day

"Religion is like having a classroom where the students have to show up every day, but there's no teacher. There are a bunch of books around and no one is even sure which on is the text book. Some students insist on one book; others argue just as hard for another. Then suddenly, on the last day, the teacher appears and says he's been watching everybody the whole time. He praises the ones who chose the right text book and sends them off to have cookies and milk.

And then he sets everyone else on fire."
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