"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything."
"I enjoy mythology, but am not religious about it"
"Your faith is not inspired by some divine constant truth. It is simply geography"
"The doubt of your faith is not god testing you, it is the truth trying to emerge and free you."
"Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings."
"Scientology. Because Mormons needed something to joke about."
"Jesus hates figs" (Mark 11:12-14)
"Staying in bed shouting 'Oh my God!' does not constitute going to church."
"Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers."
"If there there is a God, atheism must seem to Him as less of an insult than religion."
"I considered becoming an atheist, but there weren't enough holidays."
"My creation myth is better than your creation myth."
"Religion is a great comfort in a world torn apart by ... religion."
"Call my religion violent again and I'll kill you."
"The more I study religions the more I'm convinced that man worships only himself."
"Creationism doesn't required a leap of faith so much as a drunken tumble down Mount Dumbass."
"Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings."
"I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world."
"What can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence."
"Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool. - Mark Twain
"If you talk to God, you are praying. If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia."

And lo, God said

Funny Adam and Eve Garden of Eden cartoon - I don't care how hot it is today!  I don't want you running around without your leaf on!

And lo God said to the man, "Adam, I want you to do something for Me."

"Gladly Lord," replied the man. "What is it?"

"I want you to go down into yonder valley, across the river and over the hill.  On the other side of the hill you will find a cave.  And in the cave you will find a woman..."

"What's a woman, Lord?" asked the man.
And lo God told him what a woman was and then said, "With the woman, I want you to reproduce."

"Reproduce, Lord?" asked the man.

And God explained it to the man, and the man hurried forth into the valley, across the river, over the hill, into the cave, and found the woman. He was back in about five minutes, looking puzzled.

"Lord, what's a headache?"

Funny god adam eden joke