Because religion is laughable

Jesus Limericks

Funny Jesus Limericks Picture

There was man from Lyme Regis,
famed for the size of his penis,
who took it out one night
but died of a fright
at the grinning face of Jesus.

(source: GerryHatric)

There was young lad called Emmanuel,
who was frankly quite a ne'er do well,
which left his parents at a loss
and his Father quite cross,
to the extent he had to be left in Hell.

(source: GerryHatric)


When Jesus returns 'twill be sweet,
He'll appear to the man on the street.
He'll think that he ought to
Once again walk on water,
But he'll sink -
(there are holes in his feet).

(source: Flordur)


There was a young man called Jesus,
who found a good way to fleece us.
He pretended to die,
then pretended to fly,
up to heaven for lofty praises.

(source: Christopher)


At interpreting verse I am quite adept,
a hobby into which I have leapt.
But the one I can't figure out,
what the hell it's about,
is the shortest one, "Jesus swept".

(source: Rick Dickulous)


A rabbi from far-off Peru
was desperately trying to screw.
His wife said, “Oy vey!
If you keep on this way
the Messiah will come before you.”

(source: Favourite Limericks)


Submit your funny Jesus limericks to Lawd Cheesy Crust.

Atheist Quote of the Day

"Religion is like having a classroom where the students have to show up every day, but there's no teacher. There are a bunch of books around and no one is even sure which on is the text book. Some students insist on one book; others argue just as hard for another. Then suddenly, on the last day, the teacher appears and says he's been watching everybody the whole time. He praises the ones who chose the right text book and sends them off to have cookies and milk.

And then he sets everyone else on fire."
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