"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything."
"I enjoy mythology, but am not religious about it"
"Your faith is not inspired by some divine constant truth. It is simply geography"
"The doubt of your faith is not god testing you, it is the truth trying to emerge and free you."
"Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings."
"Scientology. Because Mormons needed something to joke about."
"Jesus hates figs" (Mark 11:12-14)
"Staying in bed shouting 'Oh my God!' does not constitute going to church."
"Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers."
"If there there is a God, atheism must seem to Him as less of an insult than religion."
"I considered becoming an atheist, but there weren't enough holidays."
"My creation myth is better than your creation myth."
"Religion is a great comfort in a world torn apart by ... religion."
"Call my religion violent again and I'll kill you."
"The more I study religions the more I'm convinced that man worships only himself."
"Creationism doesn't required a leap of faith so much as a drunken tumble down Mount Dumbass."
"Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings."
"I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world."
"What can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence."
"Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool. - Mark Twain
"If you talk to God, you are praying. If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia."

Jesus Carpenter Standards

Funny Jesus Carpenter Standards Religious Cartoon Picture
Funny Jesus Carpenter Standards Religious Cartoon Picture - What the f*ck are you doing with those 7mm nails? That'll never hold! As a carpenter, Jesus has certain standards...
The Jesus carpenter memes are some of my favourites, the best one being: "Christianity, celebrating the irony of a carpenter being nailed to a cross for two thousand years."

I wonder what sort of carpenter Jesus made?  Was he perfect in that respect too?  Did people flock from far and wide to have him fix their furniture?  I bet Jesus could have launched a thriving business instead of deciding to bugger off into the wilderness for 40 days and returning a little deranged.

I bet Joseph was jealous.

Again.

Poor Joseph.

God nailed his wife, and his adopted son.