"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything."
"I enjoy mythology, but am not religious about it"
"Your faith is not inspired by some divine constant truth. It is simply geography"
"The doubt of your faith is not god testing you, it is the truth trying to emerge and free you."
"Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings."
"Scientology. Because Mormons needed something to joke about."
"Jesus hates figs" (Mark 11:12-14)
"Staying in bed shouting 'Oh my God!' does not constitute going to church."
"Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers."
"If there there is a God, atheism must seem to Him as less of an insult than religion."
"I considered becoming an atheist, but there weren't enough holidays."
"My creation myth is better than your creation myth."
"Religion is a great comfort in a world torn apart by ... religion."
"Call my religion violent again and I'll kill you."
"The more I study religions the more I'm convinced that man worships only himself."
"Creationism doesn't required a leap of faith so much as a drunken tumble down Mount Dumbass."
"Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings."
"I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world."
"What can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence."
"Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool. - Mark Twain
"If you talk to God, you are praying. If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia."

Be Saved Or Burn

Funny Be Saved Or Burn Religious Meme Picture
Funny Be Saved Or Burn Religious Meme Picture - I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you how you need to be saved or you'll burn.  Stupid fireman.

I was never a very good evangelist, because through some divine plan I ended up being embarrassed to broach the very personal topic of religion with complete strangers.  Never mind that the message itself has tremendous plausibility issues.

But of course I had to do it.  I wouldn't be a good Christian otherwise.  The world was lost, after all, and who was going to save people from Hell if we didn't speak up?

So off I went:

"Jesus loves you."
"That's nice."

"You need to be saved!"
"From what?"
"From Hell."
"I don't believe in Hell."

"God loves you and wants to be saved."
"Save from what?"
"I thought you said he loved me?"

You see, evangelists struggle at the first hurdle: which is to persuade people that they have a problem that needs fixing.

Which, I suspect, is why very often, idiots become believers.