Because religion is laughable

The Jesus Interviews - Hell

Lawd Cheesy Crust

Interviewer: Thank you for taking the time to talk to us, Lord.

Jesus: No probs.  It's good to be here in person.

Interviewer, smiling: You mean "again"?

Jesus: What do you mean?

Interviewer: I mean, you were here before, so this is "again".

Jesus, smiling: Ah, I see.  No, that was Brian.


Jesus: Just pulling your leg.  Of course I mean "again".

Interviewer (chuckling): Good one, Lord... But, now to the topic of the day. What do you have to say about Hell?

Jesus: Hell?

Interviewer: Yes Lord.  Some would say that the concept of Hell is at odds with that of an all loving Creator.

Jesus: Yeah, that occurred to us too.

Interviewer: But?

Jesus: Well, see, it's like this:  As a parent, when you tell your children to do something, and they don't, what do you do?

Interviewer: I send them to the naughty corner.

Jesus: Well there you go.  It's just the same.

Interviewer: You don't think that's a bit harsh?  An eternity of torment for a finite number of sins?

Jesus: That's why you shouldn't piss off an infinite Being.  Now, where's that beer I was promised?  I'm fucking parched.


Read further interviews with Lawd Cheesy Crust.