Because religion is laughable

The Jesus Interviews - Origins

Lawd Cheesy Crust

Interviewer:  Thank you for taking the time to talk to us.

Jesus: No probs.

Interviewer:  Today I'd like to discuss the question of origins.  In other words, who made you?

Jesus: What do you mean?

Interviewer:  I mean, everything has to come from something, so where did you come from?

Jesus: That rule only applies to stuff I made. I'm eternal, timeless, the Beginning, the End, the Preexistent One, etc.  I just am.

Interviewer:  I see.

Jesus: You do? Really?

Interviewer:  I think so.  You just are, you always existed, so you don't need to come from anything.

Jesus: Except that it's bollocks.

Interviewer:  Sorry?

Jesus: Yes, you're just messing with definitions.  You say everything has to come from something, except that to which the rule for some reason doesn't apply. Very convenient, don't you think?

Interviewer:  But you just said...

Jesus: I was just messing with you.  Uncle Zeb made me.

Interviewer: Uncle Zeb? Who's he?

Jesus: Dunno. Mum never told us.


Read further interviews with Lawd Cheesy Crust.