Jesus Limericks

Funny Jesus Limericks Picture

There was man from Lyme Regis,
famed for the size of his penis,
who took it out one night
but died of a fright
at the grinning face of Jesus.

(source: GerryHatric)

There was young lad called Emmanuel,
who was frankly quite a ne'er do well,
which left his parents at a loss
and his Father quite cross,
to the extent he had to be left in Hell.

(source: GerryHatric)


When Jesus returns 'twill be sweet,
He'll appear to the man on the street.
He'll think that he ought to
Once again walk on water,
But he'll sink -
(there are holes in his feet).

(source: Flordur)


There was a young man called Jesus,
who found a good way to fleece us.
He pretended to die,
then pretended to fly,
up to heaven for lofty praises.

(source: Christopher)


At interpreting verse I am quite adept,
a hobby into which I have leapt.
But the one I can't figure out,
what the hell it's about,
is the shortest one, "Jesus swept".

(source: Rick Dickulous)


A rabbi from far-off Peru
was desperately trying to screw.
His wife said, “Oy vey!
If you keep on this way
the Messiah will come before you.”

(source: Favourite Limericks)


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